Thoughts on Forgiveness

Forgiving someone is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.

-Lewis Smedes

Forgiving someone who wronged you or your loved one is one of the hardest things a human being has to do.

There is something that feels righteous about holding onto to the right to be fuming mad.

And yet, this anger you hold inside of you becomes a poison. As you merge with it ...you become its slave.

When we are wronged or hurt we go over and over it again in our minds. It becomes the banner we wave as we walk through life, the heavy back pack we carry always.

Forgiveness is in no way condoning what the perpetrator did. It is only choosing to untie yourself from bondage.

Forgiveness is a process. You may have thought that you have totally forgiven and then something may happen to you or a loved one that brings up the hard feelings all over again. This is completely natural.

We sometimes think that if we don’t cling to our story it will be lost. The story will never be lost. It is a part of who we are and has helped to define us. It is just that we have the empowered choice of going on and living a valued life.

Forgiveness does not mean that you act as though the event never happened. It did happen and it affected you greatly. It is knowing that you can put it behind you and re-engage in life.

Forgiveness is eventually understanding that hurt people hurt people. We wish it were different. We wish that no one was hurt in their life so that they wouldn’t hurt. But the truth is they are and they do.

Forgiveness is realizing that hard times come bearing gifts. The gift of realizing your own strength, your own power. Gifts of allowing yourself to receive love and kindness from others. Gifts of knowing how to give love and kindness to others.

My favorite quote on forgiveness comes from author Jerry Jamplosky who has dedicated his life to teaching love and forgiveness.

From the perspective of love and spirit, forgiveness is the willingness to let go of the hurtful past. It is the decision to no longer suffer, to heal your heart and soul. It is the choice to no longer find value in hatred or anger. And it is letting go of the desire to hurt others or ourselves because of something that is already in the past. It is the willingness to open our eyes to the light in other people rather than judge or condemn them.

I hope dear friends, that you find a way to open your heart to let go of anything that weighs you down and keeps you from letting your beautiful light shine. The world very much needs your light and your joy.

As always, I love hearing from you!

From my heart to yours,

Brenda Strausz

dearbrenn@aol.com

www.BrendaStrausz.com

Love Made Visible

So much to worry about. So little we can do. Sometimes all we can do is to send love out to whoever we are worried about. Hopefully, we can be there with a helping hand and an outstretched arm.

Love is an emotion, a feeling, a verb, a noun and with an "ing" it is even an adverb. Love makes the wold go 'round. Love enriches us, revitalizes us, expand us. It fills us with warmth and joy.

Everyday we can choose to be a loving presence. We can be a beacon of light that reaches out and touches the world in a positive, empowering and healing way. We have the sublime power to affect the quality of the day for the people we come in conact with. And the wonderful thing about this is that like a pebble thrown into a pond, we never know how far our love will travel.

I recall this winter when my husband and I woke up to discover that my neighbor Stuart (thank you Stuart!) had cleared our sidewalk of the snow that had fallen overnight. What a great way to start the day. It warmed our hearts and filled us with good feelings that not only affected us all day long but also everyone we came in contact with.

So today, I focus not so much on romantic love .. . although that is an amazing and wonderful thing. Today, I am thinking more about loving-kindness. The kind of love that gets joy our of making life easier for others.

The kind of love that that asks the clerk in the drustore how her day is going.

The kind of love that treks through a snowy backyard to make sure the birds are feed.

The kind of love that can sit with people who are sick or hurting and just be with them.

The kind of love that not only feeds the neighborhood stray cat but builds a little red house for him too sleep in. (shout out to Sharon and Tom!)

The kind of love you feel while making a pot of soup knowing how warm and happy the soup will make your family.

The kind of love that rushes right over to a friend who has experienced a loss with a box of kleenex and a bag of M and M's.

The kind of love that listens, really listens with an open heart to a friend who needs you.

The kind of love that looks beyond someone's appearance or the kind of car they drive and only notices the person the quality of the person's heart.

The kind of love that sends a card of encouragement or a phone call to someone who is having a hard time.

The kind of love that volunteers at the local food bank.

The kind of love that visit the elderly woman next door who lives alone with a container of soup in hand.

Life can be stressful, hard, scary and sometimes unfair. But what if in the midst of all this .. .we just decided to give love wherever we go? What if we moved beyond our problems and asked the barista at the coffee shop about her new baby and she would light up knowing that we cared about her? What if we waved people into our lane in bad traffic? What if we went up to a lonely looking person at a party and asked him about himself? What if we were all beaming beacons of love and light? What would it be like if we all lived this way? For in the end, I am very sure that it is love that will save us.

I infuse everything with love today.
I see the best in others.
I see the best in myself.
I am in total harmony with everyone today.
Love operates in all my relationships.
I allow my love to flow freely. My supply of love is endless.
It is a joy to spread love and kindness to everyone I meet today.