"There is no greater agony than the untold story inside of you." -Maya Angelou
A day at temple for the Jewish New Year… beautiful service and prayers. Hugging temple members and friends. Feeling God in the prayers, the rabbi’s words, the cantor’s melodic voice, the songs, the holy connection to all the world there in my temple.
Later that night, dinner with family. Beautiful babies. Joy. Love. Great conversation. Amazing food. Wonderful people.
All this bounty. All this to be thankful for.
Then why this sadness in the pit of my stomach?
Why these tears that hide behind my eyes?
Sitting in silence, I decide to let my tears have a voice.
I sit down and with pen in hand, I ask myself the simple question: “What is wrong, sweetheart?”
As my pen moves, my tears flow.
And I confess:
I miss my kids terribly and this makes me so sad. I want desperately to hug my little granddaughter and rock her to sleep. I want to make the serious illnesses of my brother-in-law and one of my closest friends go away. I want to bring my Aunt back to life in her most healthy and glorious state so my uncle will be happy again. I want my clients to have happier relationships and better lives. I want all diseases to be obliterated from the earth.
I want things that are not possible to have.
The tears keep flowing as I allow all the sadness to have a voice.
And with each tear that flows my sadness feels accepted. It feels heard.
I remind myself that it is okay to feel sad. How could I forget that denying sadness squelches your vitality, your life force? Numbing yourself just doesn’t work… it always catches up to you. And I guess it caught up with me.
So I will muck around in it for awhile. I will allow it to breathe and to circulate so it can unstick a bit. I will give my sadness a voice until it is done talking.
And then I will be more myself again. Freer. Less constricted.
I may call a friend to share my sadness or I may find that I don’t need to. Maybe the writing and the tears are enough.
Of this I am sure of. I cannot find my kids jobs here but I can be the best out of town mom and grandma in the world. I can relish in the fact that they are happy and doing well. I can take tremendous joy out of our phone calls, our Skype sessions and all the times we are together. I cannot make my brother-in-law or friend well or bring my Aunt back to life, but I can be there for them physically and emotionally. And I can send them light and prayers and cheerful e-mails and cards and phone calls.
And then I will do what makes me come alive. I will listen to uplifting songs. I will sing. I will dance. I will meditate and pray and read awesome books. I will walk and do yoga. I will spend time in nature. I will cook great, healthy meals. I will scrapbook. I will post on inspiring posts on facebook. I will write articles. I will play games with friends. I will go to the movies.
I will allow myself to feel because that’s what being alive is all about. And I will feel my sadness for as long as I need to. And I will pick myself up, dust myself off and begin again to see the goodness in the world.
Call to action:
When you feel those feeling of sadness, get a journal and let them have a voice. If nothing comes to you, start to draw…sometimes the right brain knows what the left brain doesn’t.
Give yourself lots of kindness and compassion.
Remember to breathe.
Sometimes you may need a break from your feelings. Imagine yourself in a safe space that you love. It may be somewhere you know or something you create. .It could be a room or a place in nature. Put anything or anyone in it who gives you comfort. Imagine the colors and objects or things from nature you most love. Spend some time feeling that healing energy.
Sometimes these feelings may be triggering an old memory. You can ask yourself what this reminds you of. Often we get great relief from knowing this.
EFT or tapping therapy can help to move stuck energy out of your energy system. Check out my website or e-mail me for more information.
Brenda Strausz is a holistic psychotherapist with a practice in the Metro Detroit Area who specializes in women’s issues. She can be reached at www.BrendaStrausz.com.
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
My Most Important Life Lessons
,
I sat on my backyard swing last night enjoying the astonishing beauty of the summer sky. Journal in hand, I began to think about the wisdom that I have acquired in my many years of living. I realize that my life has been a sacred journey of gathering wisdom and understanding how to best live well in the world. I know I have alot more to learn but I am so grateful for what life has taught me.
1. Let go of things you cannot change.
Ask yourself, what can I do about this? If it seems there is something you can do, do it. If the answer is nothing, say a heartfelt prayer and get on with the business of living.
2. Change what you can.
Your thoughts, your behaviors and your actions--that is about it!
3. Do not take things personally.
If you are treated rudely, it usually isn’t about you but the other person’s pain or wounds. You don’t have to be a victim.
4.Heal your wounds.
If you find you are often offended and unhappy, look inside for what is being triggered and heal these wounds.
5.Feed your soul.
Spend time often doing what you love. This will bring you much happiness!
6.Connect with others.
Smile at people in the grocery store. Comment on someone’s baby or flowers or dog. Form a book group or a women’s group. Call a friend for lunch. Invite a neighbor for dinner.
7. Kindness is golden.
Kindness not only brings joy to others but expands our own heart. Kindness to yourself is very important.
8. Do not make assumptions.
You can build a whole story out of why you think someone is doing what they are doing. It is a waste of your time and energy
9. Listen with your whole heart.
This is one of the greatest gifts you can give another human being.
10. Accept yourself with all your beauty, flaws and human frailties.
When you accept yourself the way you are you are free to make changes.
11. Listen to your gut.
Check inside when making a decision about anything. If something just doesn't feel right, pay attention to that feeling.
12. Know what you stand for.
Get clear on your principles and beliefs. These will be your guide in making many important life decisons.
13. Appreciate what you have.
When you live in appreciation the universe will give you even more.
14. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
This is very freeing and allows you to live more in a state of flow.
15. Like attracts like.
Positive thoughts attract positive things, experiences and people. Negative thoughts attract negativity into your life.
16. Simple things are best.
When I look back at my life it is always the times with family and friends, the games, the laughter, the joy that we shared that I remember most.
17. It is the love you have shared with others that really matters.
Live as if to live and to love are the same.
18. Forgive.
Forgiveness allows the posion of hatred to leave your body, mind and soul and to live in a state of peace and joy. It helps when we realize that most people are doing the best they can with what the resources and knowledge they have.
19. Just do it!
This applies to applying for the job,making that dreaded phone call,going out for a run when you are tired or booking a trip to Italy.
20. Look for the good in others.
Why not? If I can see the loveliness in someone else...they begin to see it in themselves.
These life lessons guide me in my everyday life in countless ways. I am sure I will add more and more to the list as the years go by.
I would love if you added your gems to this list. I am sure they are beautiful.
From my heart to yours,
Brenda
I sat on my backyard swing last night enjoying the astonishing beauty of the summer sky. Journal in hand, I began to think about the wisdom that I have acquired in my many years of living. I realize that my life has been a sacred journey of gathering wisdom and understanding how to best live well in the world. I know I have alot more to learn but I am so grateful for what life has taught me.
1. Let go of things you cannot change.
Ask yourself, what can I do about this? If it seems there is something you can do, do it. If the answer is nothing, say a heartfelt prayer and get on with the business of living.
2. Change what you can.
Your thoughts, your behaviors and your actions--that is about it!
3. Do not take things personally.
If you are treated rudely, it usually isn’t about you but the other person’s pain or wounds. You don’t have to be a victim.
4.Heal your wounds.
If you find you are often offended and unhappy, look inside for what is being triggered and heal these wounds.
5.Feed your soul.
Spend time often doing what you love. This will bring you much happiness!
6.Connect with others.
Smile at people in the grocery store. Comment on someone’s baby or flowers or dog. Form a book group or a women’s group. Call a friend for lunch. Invite a neighbor for dinner.
7. Kindness is golden.
Kindness not only brings joy to others but expands our own heart. Kindness to yourself is very important.
8. Do not make assumptions.
You can build a whole story out of why you think someone is doing what they are doing. It is a waste of your time and energy
9. Listen with your whole heart.
This is one of the greatest gifts you can give another human being.
10. Accept yourself with all your beauty, flaws and human frailties.
When you accept yourself the way you are you are free to make changes.
11. Listen to your gut.
Check inside when making a decision about anything. If something just doesn't feel right, pay attention to that feeling.
12. Know what you stand for.
Get clear on your principles and beliefs. These will be your guide in making many important life decisons.
13. Appreciate what you have.
When you live in appreciation the universe will give you even more.
14. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
This is very freeing and allows you to live more in a state of flow.
15. Like attracts like.
Positive thoughts attract positive things, experiences and people. Negative thoughts attract negativity into your life.
16. Simple things are best.
When I look back at my life it is always the times with family and friends, the games, the laughter, the joy that we shared that I remember most.
17. It is the love you have shared with others that really matters.
Live as if to live and to love are the same.
18. Forgive.
Forgiveness allows the posion of hatred to leave your body, mind and soul and to live in a state of peace and joy. It helps when we realize that most people are doing the best they can with what the resources and knowledge they have.
19. Just do it!
This applies to applying for the job,making that dreaded phone call,going out for a run when you are tired or booking a trip to Italy.
20. Look for the good in others.
Why not? If I can see the loveliness in someone else...they begin to see it in themselves.
These life lessons guide me in my everyday life in countless ways. I am sure I will add more and more to the list as the years go by.
I would love if you added your gems to this list. I am sure they are beautiful.
From my heart to yours,
Brenda
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